


Wiles

by Goldy



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-18 02:10:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldy/pseuds/Goldy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Rose, I’m not fixing your gun.” Her eyes grew even wider, so he added, “Because I'm <i>morally opposed</i> to them.”</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wiles

“Doctor.”

He didn’t look up—instead, he very determinately turned the page of his magazine. He heard Rose shifting around and then the sofa dipped when she took a seat next to him.

“ _Please_?”

He didn’t have to look over to know that she was batting her eyes in his direction. “Yes, sorry—bit preoccupied at the moment.” He hunched over the magazine, attempting to give the impression of being Very Busy and Important.

Rose sighed. “I don’t see why you read those things anyway. It’s not like Brad and Angelina are all that different in this universe.”

“No,” he said, voice rising slightly with excitement. “See, in Pete’s World, Brad and Jen never got a divorce, meaning there never _was_ a Brad and Angelina. Isn’t that brilliant?” There was a suspicious silence from next to him so he felt compelled to add, “It’s the Donna in me, all right? I can’t help it.”

“We’ve really got to get you a job,” Rose said. Then she leaned forward and plucked his glasses off his nose.

“Oi!”

He looked over in indignation, intending to get them back, but Rose jumped to her feet, glasses dangling from one hand. She folded her arms over her chest and _stared_ at him. No, stared wasn’t the right word. More like... like _pleaded_ with him with her eyes.

He swallowed. “Rose—that’s not... that’s not going to work. I said ‘no.’”

She looked dismayed. “But...”

“Rose, I’m not fixing your gun.” Her eyes grew even wider, so he added, “Because I'm _morally opposed_ to them.”

Rose pondered that for a moment. “You trust me, don’t you?”

He raised his eyebrows and leaned back on the sofa, kicking his feet up onto the coffee table. “I trust _you_. I don’t trust the rest of Torchwood.”

“I’m not talking about the rest of Torchwood,” said Rose. “I wouldn’t use it unless I had to.”

“Don’t you have someone at Torchwood that can do this?”

Rose shrugged. “Course we do. But I trust you more than them.”

Ooh, that was hitting below the belt. He eyed her. “Rose, it’s a _gun_.” He tried to sound as serious as possible and not at all like he was enjoying himself. “You know how I feel about guns.”

She sighed and then sagged. “I know. You’re right. I shouldn’t have asked.” She tossed the glasses back onto the coffee table. “I won’t bother you again.”

He picked up the glasses and shot her a ‘HA, I WIN’ look, which she missed due to the fact that she’d disappeared down the hall. The Doctor frowned—gloating wasn’t half as fun when Rose wasn’t around to witness it.

He replaced his glasses and returned to the magazine. It wasn’t long before he gave it up and tossed the magazine onto the coffee table. For some reason, reading the tabloids was now far less interesting.

He sprang to his feet. “Okay, I’ll fix the gun!”

Rose’s head popped out of their bedroom. “Yeah?”

“ _But_ ,” he continued. “I’m programming the master setting to ‘stun.’ _And_ I’m going to imprint the controls with voice and touch recognition so only you can use it. No chance of it getting into the wrong hands.”

Rose grinned. “Works for me.”

Something in her grin made him suspicious, and then he realized—she’d known _exactly_ what she was doing. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. “You tricked me.”

Her grin widened. “C’mon, I’ll meet you in the bedroom.”

His eyes lit up hopefully. “Bedroom?”

“‘Cos that’s where the _gun_ is,” she said, looking amused. “Still, if you fix it for me...”

She trailed off, her underlying implication clear. He grinned—before remembering what they were talking about. “Rose, you keep a _gun_ in our _bedroom_?”

“You never know!” said Rose. “Just last week, a giant mammoth walked out of the portal you opened in the kitchen.”

“ _Well_...” said the Doctor. It was, he had to admit, a fair point. He thought about it. “What have giant mammoths ever done to you?”

“For starters, that ‘stun’ option would have come in handy before it destroyed our kitchen."

He waved that away and followed her into the bedroom. “Done that myself plenty of times before, thank you very much. Who knew toasters in Pete’s World would react so strongly against sonic waves? Ooh, you know what we _could_ do... test that new ‘stun’ setting on your mother...”


End file.
